Not in vain

Well, after several depressing blogs in a row (sorry!), I feel that things have changed somewhat for me. Or maybe to describe it more accurately, it is my perspective that has changed. I think I have been struggling to remember why we are here and why we are putting ourselves through all of this. But, God has reminded me that He called us here for a purpose. We may not even know yet what that true purpose is, but He has one, and I am privileged to be called to it.

Several things happened these past two weeks to remind me of that. First, I was able to conduct some of my first HIV/AIDS prevention and education seminars. We started by offering this education to staff here at the office, and then we will continue by offering to staff in our other centers before we move on to the children. In some ways, I almost felt like it was just a formality to offer it to the staff, assuming that they have had alot of contact with Americans and that surely they have heard all of this before. For some, that was the case. But for many others, they have never had anyone explain these things in definite terms and answer questions that they have had for many years. Their culture tells them that they are not to discuss anything regarding sex, yet they were so open and hungry for the knowledge. I felt so privileged that they had enough trust in me to talk about such sensitive topics, even though it goes against all they have been taught.

As I presented the material, I tried to balance having a group discussion that focused on cultural values and common misperceptions of the disease with my providing medical knowledge and answering medical questions. After that, I then began a discussion on what the Bible says about HIV and AIDS. Most would say that the Bible doesn't say anything about HIV, since the disease did not exist then. But, I disagree.

I went through scriptures that describe the hurt and suffering and how people such as that feel rejected and alone. Then, I highlighted scripture that explains God's heart for those that are sick and suffering. I then asked them what they thought our responsibility as Christians is in this fight against the disease. As we discussed it, I brought up some scriptures in Proverbs that value education and wisdom to encourage us all to educate ourselves. I then talked about verses that say that we are not to judge one another for our sins- God is the only judge. Finally, I was able to talk about several verses where Jesus clearly tells us that as Christians we are to love our brothers and care for one another. So, as we see people each and every day that are suffering with this awful disease, it is our responsibility to love them and not to judge them.

I am no Theology major, so I was kind of hesitant as to how this would be received. At the end of my last session, one of the men raised his hand and thanked me for the presentation. He said he was glad for the information, but was most touched by God's words. At that moment, I knew that it was God speaking to these people, His people, and he was speaking to them because he loves them. I could take no credit for those things, because He had given me the words and He had opened their hearts to receive it.

Another one, who is the chief in a nearby village sat through my seminar twice. He sat and heard the same words over again, and I couldn't help but wonder why. At the end of the second session, he raised his hand and asked, "What do I do if I tell my people these things you have taught me, but they do not listen?" I couldn't believe that he was willing to take this information and teach others so openly. He of all people in the village has the most authority to teach, and he is willing to do it. I told him that we will pray for open hearts and minds to receive the message.

All of those things were encouraging to me last week, but have become even more meaningful this week. We have a very dear friend that we work with that confided in us yesterday that two of his family members died of AIDs. There are others whom I know that have not openly stated it, but who are also closely affected by the disease. It really hit me then what a significant privilege God has given me to be a part of people's lives in this way. There is so much hurt and shame and suffering and guilt. If I can be a small part of preventing even one person from suffering this fate, then my life has not been in vain.

My heart is filled with gratitude for God's grace in allowing people to hear this message of hope. I am continuing to pray for His guidance as we continue to navigate these difficult situations, and I am humbled everyday by my constant need for His help. I have remembered that God has a purpose for me here in Malawi, and for that I am glad.